“Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.”
Barbara De Angelis
As women, we wear many hats. Play many roles. Woman ~ Wife ~ Mother ~ Daughter ~ Sister ~ Aunt ~ Friend. And in each of those roles, we give of ourselves. We give love, support, compassion, empathy, passion, encouragement, sympathy… it is in our nature to give. There is an exquisite and innate beauty in this giving of self, but within also lies great risk. The risk comes when we do not know our boundaries, honor limits, or neglect to refill our vessels that can flow so generously.
The quote above from Barbara De Angelis captures perfectly what I have known for myself to be true. I deeply need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to replenish. As elemental as food and water for my wellbeing, I must have this time for self in order to maintain my ability to be in this world. I have learned to honor this in myself.
There was a time, however that I compared myself to others who seemed to have this limitless energy – this ability to go on and on in thier giving, their living, thier doing. And I thought myself inferior – unable to compete. While I beleive the quote states the truth for all women, there is an ebb and flow to it – as our energies move in and out like the waves of the ocean. During one stage or moon of our life, we may feel our tides are full and immense. While during another moon, we may feel our energies retreating, even shallow. So, I have let go of comparing….and honor that each of us have the ability, and the responsibility, to check in with ourselves and discern when it is time to go inward.
This time of going inward, the Yin time – gives our mind, body and spirit the opportunity to connect, tune in and be. This is where we connect with our inner wisdom, our intuition. It is where our dreams blossom. Where our authentic self resides. This is where our power originates. In this quiet, reflective place we remember who we are.
This shift towards self can be uncomfortable for some, intimidating for others; and to some even frightening to be left alone with thier thoughts spinning. And to some, it will bring thoughts of selfishness to mind. Afterall, as women we are taught to put ourselves last.
“Self care is not self-indulgence – it is self-preservations” Renee Trudeau
Self care is essential. It is the core nourishent of our mind, body and spirit that must some first in order to allow and empower all we wish accomplish. Self care is the foundation of how I begin the coaching process with my clients. It is the sturdy rock from which they can joyfully and confidently dive into the ocean of thier dreams.