What does it mean to be conscious in our fertility efforts? Especially when getting pregnant is a challenge? Being ‘conscious’ is a word that is tossed around a lot of late, so let’s take a closer look at the formal meaning of the word ‘conscious’.
con•scious pronounced [kon-shuh s]
1. aware of one’s own existence, sensations, thoughts, surroundings, etc.
2. fully aware of or sensitive to something
3. having the mental faculties fully active
4. known to oneself; felt
5. aware of what one is doing
When I read this definition with the eyes or filter of my in-fertility experience, I realize, in many ways, I was, at times, unconscious about the way I walked through this journey we call in-fertility. I was aware that I wanted a baby. I prayed for a baby. I thought I needed a baby. I would, in fact, do anything just about anything, jump through any hoop for a baby. And as this desperate desire caused my awareness to become more and more tunneled vision, it became acute and all-consuming.
So, if the desire for that baby inherently blocks out (to some degree) other awareness of our existence, sensation, thoughts, and surroundings outside the full awareness necessary to make wise choices and live fully, how can one walk through in-fertility fully ‘conscious’?
The answer is as simple as in the answers similar questions of awareness or enlightenment in other cultures and throughout the religions and traditions. Living in the Now. I realize that this might sound ludicrous when one is in the despair of in-fertility. Who wants to be there? But behind the mind, just below the despair, in the breath, is Now. And when you can reach Now, all is well. After all, what else do we have? The past is done, and does not have to prescribe our future. Our future is still malleable to our intent and actions. And now is perfect. We breathe. We are. We are okay.
My in-fertility journey was anything but conscious in the beginning, which is why I wish to share my story – a sort of ‘what NOT to do’ testimony. The lessons that I now share were learned deep into my journey, and the jewels of that journey are rich and many. You can gather your own jewels, too. here are a few tips on how to begin that for yourself.
One. Don’t go it alone. There are organizations and groups out there with women just like you, struggling and feeling isolated. Join Resolve or a group at your place of worship, or consider starting your own group on MeetUp.com. Connecting with other women who are dealing with the same emotions you are is incredibly healing. Some of my dearest friends and soul sisters came from being involved with Resolve and working with The Fertile Soul.
Two. Gather your Fertility Team. Don’t go it alone! Gather the experts who can best support you – ones that you can trust to have your best interest at heart. Gather your doctor, your acupuncturist, your body worker, your yoga teacher, your nutritionist and your coach. Knowing your team has your back allows you to let go of some of the stress you are carrying.
Three. Don’t go it alone! Bring your God, Creator, your Higher Power into your life. A strong connection with your Creator will give you strength when you most need it. Going through infertility is often a time when we question our faith, and move away from our traditional spiritual practice. Embrace that this is a time for your spirituality to mature and expand into one that is more meaningful and alive in your heart. Even five minutes a day, BEing quiet, BEing aware that you are a spiritual BEing having a human experience will ease the stress that our mind creates.
Four. Don’t go it alone! Pull together all the above and take all of it to your Journal. Your Journal can be your most trusted place to be authentic with where you are in this process. It is a safe place to be honest with your fears, and release them. This is the perfect tool to bring about awareness…consciousness. The practice of journaling creates space for self-inquiry, self-connection, release and inspiration – even creativity – which is the energetic force we wish to cultivate!
Allow these tools to heighten your ability to stay conscious on your fertility journey, and you will be enriched, aware and more connected with you.
Love & Light,